yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
