Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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