Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize