The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
