he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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