I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
