do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
