worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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