the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize