The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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