woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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