Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Randomize
