whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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