Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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