I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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