Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Vodka?
Forever.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
