the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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