All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
