Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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