Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
