PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
