Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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