going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
