he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
As shirtless as possible
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
