Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
