All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
