all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
