dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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