Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize