I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sorry about my life...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
