So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
