shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
