I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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