what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
