where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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