Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
