Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
