i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
