the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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