Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
