i was born a porn star she said
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Randomize
