While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
