We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
