I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
