I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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