I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize