He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
