Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
