Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
