I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
