I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
