You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i think i have two assholes
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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