Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize