The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
