Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
