he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
