apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
