Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
