I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
