Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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