i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
