yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
