I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize