I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
